A trip to visit my younger self reveals to me where my fear of seeing spirits came from and boy, was I surprised by the realization.
I always knew that around the age of seven, something shifted inside me, and caused me to begin to hide from myself. I wanted to hide what I was seeing at night when spirits and entities visited me. Partly because it scared me and partly because I didn't want people to think I was weird/crazy.
However, there was something else that was going on that I was not aware of at the time. I had a fear that these spirits and entities would possess me. It wasn't until now that I realized that I had this fear and where that fear came from.
When I visited my younger self, I realized I was not always afraid of seeing spirits. I used to hang out and talk to my loved ones, and spirit guides all the time. I asked my younger self what changed and where did this fear come from, my answer was Poltergeist, a movie I watched around the age of seven.
I was a little taken back that a movie I watched as a kid could have such a big impact on, my life and then I really wasn't.
I don't remember being that, scared but I do remember how that movie instilled a lot of fear in my cousin. He couldn't sleep in his room for at least a year.
The movie was imprinted in my subconscious mind. It also ignited a fear I wasn't fully aware of having about the spirits taking over my body.
The movie is about a young girl who has demons and ghosts that are attracted to her and terrorize her because they believe she can bring them out of the dark and into the light. The ghost abducts her through the bedroom closet. Needless to say, I spent many nights falling asleep facing my bedroom closet and one of my biggest fears.
Ironically, or not my spiritual gifts revolve around mediumship and helping souls cross over into the light. These souls that came to me at night appeared to be dark. However, what I realized is that they were cloaked in darkness. Just like the movie, they wanted to go from the dark into the light. As a young girl, I didn't consciously see how the movie was connected to my life, but subconsciously, I did. My subconscious mind began to "protect" me from my fear, and that is when I began to hide.
It served me for many years, but now it is no longer serving me and it is time to let it go. It is time to step into my purpose. Being of service to spirit. To do that, I have some healing and forgiveness to do not only to my younger self but also to the movie. I have to stand up to my fear and know that I am safe and fully protected as long as I honor and protect myself and my space. I have to thank my fear for what it showed and how it helped me to ascend.
You never know what is in your subconscious mind until, you face and you only face when you are ready. I am ready.
Spreading Love, Valeri